Loose Stools

Don't you just hate it when your kids get "sick" and you have to take leave work to take care of them. This is what sick looks like, folks:

AKA - Lots of Playtime and Happiness!

Footy Pajamas and Baby Steps Forward

The weather is getting colder and it's finally time to break-out the fleece, footy pajamas!

 
KALLAN

A couple of weeks ago, Kallan counted to three using three newspapers in a drive way. I was so proud! A week later, he said the alphabet, from R-Z, while watching Dinosaur Train with no prompting of letters. I've got one smart kiddo!

MR. T

Mr. T is using the sign "more" appropriately when he asks for more food. We are having fewer freak-outs at the dinner table. And he is practicing the signs for "finished" and "please." Lots of forward progress in this family!

A Lazy Saturday Morning

The boys love to cuddle with daddy!

My Particular Child

Today, as we were watching TV, Kallan decided that my hand had to be on his head.

Some people say that strong-willed children aren't born, they're made.

You obviously have never had a strong-willed, particular child.

This is ridiculous.

Safe Spot

Kallan loved the bath until about two weeks ago when he pooped in the water. Ever since, bath time includes screaming and gnashing of teeth. I try to warn him that bath time is coming, but he always tries to hide. Under the coffee table is his designated safe spot.

New Blog Title, New Blog Mission

Kallan quit blogging. I hate it when he starts something but doesn't finish it. He must get it from his father.

This blog has been recycled and reused in order to reduce the number of completely unnecessary blogs out there. (And no, this blog is not unnecessary. It fills gaps, gives purpose, provides entertainment.)

The other day, I met a guy named Martin. Everyday for one year, he took a pictures  of everyday things. I saw the publication of his work and was intrigued as well as inspired.

I am an academic as well as an administrator. I am a wife and mom. In the last 6 months I have worked part-time, been a stay at home mom, and worked full-time. (My husband would argue that I alone have the "talents" to pull off a stunt like this :).)

I think my life would look very interesting in a series of photographs.

Here we go.

Visiting a Playa in Castro County, TX for the DEARTH Project - communicating science through art.

Dominance

I would like to say that Kallan was "testing out" the slide for Mr. T.
You know, to make sure that it was safe.

Nope.
Classic animal behavior.
Thanks to all toddlers for reminding us of the realities of human nature.

Lists

You know you have a lot going on when you prioritize your stick notes according to color and progression.

I Love You, Mama

I told my Mama that I loved her today.

She said it to me, so I repeated it back to her. She thinks I don't know what it means, but I do. She has had a hard couple of weeks with our foster baby, so I thought I'd throw her a bone.

It's been almost 2 years. I suppose she has waited long enough.

10 Simple Ways to Make Your Toddler Happy

Moms, if you desire unconditional love from your toddler, following these guidelines is a good place to start. Until then, expect us to favor daddy in all circumstances.

1. Give me unrestricted access to electronics

You say you want me to learn and grow. Well how about downloading quality apps, and god forbid, paying 99 cents to do so. To make things interesting, I'll plan on investing the same amount of  money and effort on your elderly care as you do on my education/entertainment. Who's downloading crappy free apps now?

2. Mind your own business

Do not stand over me as I play. It's annoying and makes you look needy. Either go out and find yourself a friend or play with me. Your distant stares are unnerving.

3. Everyday is meatless Monday

The only meat touching these sweet toddler lips is processed chicken wrapped in breaded-goodness. Nuggets from McDonalds and Chicken Fries from Canada (my Mama calls them chicken sticks) are both acceptable forms. I'm trying to do the right thing and lead a low-impact, sustainable life. Do you hate mother earth? Because it sure seems like it.

4. Poo poo pants should remain undisturbed

I'm making a beautiful piece of art in my pants that engages all senses - sight, smell, touch, and even sound if you're in the right place at the right time. Please do not stifle me with your silly sign language and enthusiastic pronunciations of "poop". Let me create. Let me be free.

5. Stop all forms of sign language

Sign language makes you look stupid. Do you really think I can't hear you? Saying while doing is inefficient and a waste of everyone's time. Just because you sign doesn't mean that I'm going to do what you demand. I can use my super power of selective vision as well as selective hearing. You're not fooling anybody but yourself. Also, it's pretentious.

6. Complimentary cookies with every meal

This is simple enough.

7. Cheese must always be served in shredded form

Anything sliced, blocked, or stringed is unacceptable and will be immediately discarded.

8. Turn that frown upside down

You really should practice positive thinking. You're always talking about how stubborn I am, or how I refuse to eat vegetables. Instead of focusing on what YOU consider to be bad, why not see these things in a positive light? I'm a spirited kid with endless potential. Yes, I have a specific way of doing things, but that's because I'm so smart and the other ways are stupid. As far as vegetables go, I could choose to eat nothing at all. Is that what you want, a complete lack of nutrition? Just keep putting that delicious Carnation Instant Breakfast into my morning milk, add a little green food coloring, and we'll call it a vegetable.

9. Breakfast and TV are an unbreakable combo

While enjoying my breakfast milk, I must watch "Dinosaur Train". I will start with a friendly reminder by singing the theme song, but if you're not turning on the TV within 5 seconds, I am not ashamed to resort to more effective strategies. Do you really want a tantrum at 6:30am? I think not.

10. Play time is on my terms

 If we sit down to read a book and I point at a picture, then you are required to tell me the name of the object as well as any sound it makes. If we are making a mega block fort, I have every right to knock yours down, but you better not touch mine. These are my toys and therefore my dominion.

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If you fail to live-up to these simple guidelines, I'll go straight to daddy. A little whining goes a long way with that guy.

If you manipulate him using the evil-eye (don't think I haven't noticed), I'll Skype my grandmas. Skype is a powerful tool and I'm not afraid to use it.

Eventually, I will break you.

 

I Am Tantalizing

Some people call me strong-willed and stubborn. My Mama calls me spirited.

I think of myself as the manifestation of perfection. If I were an animal, I would be a t-rex with a magical unicorn horn (and longer arms, of course), or maybe a giant eagle with the ability to manipulate space and time. Yes, that's it! I can easily manipulate space and time now, all I need is a pair of wings.

Sorry. Back to the topic at hand.

Perhaps the best word for this stage of my life is tantalizing. To tantilize  means to present someone with something that is exciting or desirable, but not letting them have it. I practice this on a daily basis. I show my mom how cute and adorable I can be, then when she tries to hug or kiss me, I break out into a mini-tantrum - squealing and failing my arms about. Kisses are NOT FREE! I give her a glimpse of all that is sweet and good within me, then I snatch it away!

I'm not doing this to be mean. I'm doing it to help my parents. You see, sometimes people take things for granted, like sweet kisses from a toddler. By allowing such luxuries on a limited basis, it helps people to appreciate them more. For you business folks, it's all about supply and demand. If the supply is limited, my kisses will be in demand and they will make Mama feel extra special when she gets one.

See! I'm doing her a favor.

Blog post over.

Hi, I'm the Tantalizing Toddler

Hi. My name is Kallan. I am 2 years old. Well, actually, I'm 20-something months old, but at this point, counting months is stupid. I'm almost two, therefore, I'm rounding the corner of adulthood and complete independence. Mom is great and I love her dearly, but she's just there to foot the bills. I run the show and she knows it.

So, the name of my blog is "The Tantalizing Toddler" and I feel that it might need some explanation. Read the definition below.

tan·ta·lize

verb
\ˈtan-tə-ˌlīz\

Definition:

• to cause (someone) to feel interest or excitement about something that is very attractive, appealing, etc.
•  to tease or torment by or as if by presenting something desirable to the view but continually keeping it out of reach  

 

Understand now? If not, then you need a little toddler education. Keep reading this blog and I'll enlighten you.